Looking Back...

I have not posted in 2 years but that doesn't mean I have forgotten to do so.  With each minute being valued, I journaled and recorded as much of my experience as possible, so I would never have regrets and always be able to look back on time well spent while caring for Daddy.    Since my last post, a lot has happened.  I lost my daddy on October 20, 2013 and my life has forever changed.   I have always found journaling/blogging to be therapeutic.  As part of self therapy and learning to grieve in a healthy manner(if there is such a way), I have decided to upload all of my journaling over the years, throughout my caregiving experience.  I will have to gather my notes from doctors I took on my phone, memos and other random notes and piece them altogether chronologically.  I look forward to opening my heart and sharing this experience with others.  I hope my notes will help other caregivers find relief and have a better understanding from another caregiver's journey.  Please feel free to share this blog with other caregivers and those who may find this blog of an advantage.  <3

Sweet Tooth

I woke up this morning to find my kitchen counter covered in sugar cones...yes, the ice cream cones!  I think Daddy got busy while we were asleep.  First, let me explain this for those of you who don't already know him.  Daddy has always been an early riser, which 34 years in the military will do that.  He has always been an adamant planner, very precise with each hour of each day and meals to be exact.  Though the Alzheimer's is progressing, Daddy still likes his 'old routine' of eating Corn Flakes for breakfast.  However, since he now has no concept of time, he has begun to eat several bowls of Corn Flakes throughout each day and the excessive amount of milk he is consuming upsets his stomach.  He is at the point where he refuses to take a bath because he says "I've already had one," even though his shower is still dry and it has been 2 days since he willingly took a good bath.  There is no point in arguing with him.

Anyway, yesterday, Daddy had eaten 3 bowls of cereal by mid afternoon, so Heath hid the box from him because he already had an upset stomach.  Daddy threw a fit last night and wanted to know who had hid his cereal and was also pitching a fit because Carlton and Carlie Grace walked into the den with food and he said it wasn't fair because he wasn't allowed to.   I get frustrated knowing Daddy has always worshiped each of my kids and is now very competitive with them at times.  I keep trying to tell myself he is sick but as an only child and him being the primary parent who raised me, it's tough.  Heath is my rock, especially during times like this...of course, he's about all I have left besides my kids.  He made a good observation.  He said, "I think your daddy eats cereal because it's sweet."   I guess since Heath hid the cereal from him, he found the first box in the pantry, which happened to be a box of sugar cones and went to town.  I know this story sounds silly to some, but other caregivers can relate I'm sure. 
I was up at 5:00 this morning (which is rare...I'm usually up with Daddy most of the night and sleep like a 3rd shift worker!).  I made Heath and Carlie Grace breakfast and always make Daddy his regular plate of eggs, toast and fried bologna.  His breakfast was on the table with his morning meds placed neatly beside them.  Around 6am, I heard Daddy's pocket door open and him sling his walker around and shuffle to the bathroom.  As I folded laundry, I could see him return to the kitchen.  He saw his plate on the table and I told him to eat his breakfast.  Again, having no concept of time, he asks, "Is it time to eat?  What day is it?"  These are questions I have become quite routine to answering several times throughout the day. 
My biggest battle this morning was telling Daddy after he finished breakfast he needed to shower.  He tried to convince me he has already had a shower and I told him he was not allowed to watch TV until he showered.  This shower thing is so frustrating and I know there is no sense in arguing with him but it is like pulling teeth to get him to bathe!  Daddy finished his breakfast and refused to shower and went back to bed.  :(

Christmas 2011

Daddy had a good Christmas.  He received lots of gifts and an entire bag of snacks, his favorites (moon pies, cookies, etc.).  I was a little worried since my mom came down to visit from NY.  They have been divorced since I was 8.  Things went well and I took Mom back to the airport early this morning.   I did notice that the constant noise he makes (due to his swallowing problem), wasn't near as bad while my mom was here.  He seemed to hardly make the noise at all.  I now have my husband peering over my shoulder so will post more tomorrow. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I look forward to blogging more! :)